While I was driving to the grocery store one evening, the song “Changes” by the band Tesla came on Hair Nation (SiriusXM), which made me think about the changes that we are all going through as a collective, and the significant challenges that I endured recently.
The spring and summer of 2019 were brutal for me. Brutal. I was in a long-distance relationship with a man I had known for thirty years and whom I dated in my twenties. We knew each other’s childhood families, and this was important to me because I had lost my mother to lung cancer in 2015, and it was comforting to me to have a partner who knew her. In March of 2019, I learned that my previous long-term boyfriend (with whom I had lived) had committed suicide after years of battling substance abuse. Shortly thereafter, I received the news that I had melanoma (skin cancer), which required radiation. All this doom and gloom was apparently too much real-world shit for the current boyfriend, so he checked out…no card, no flowers, no visits…nada. Poof. Gone, Boy, Gone.
I have had multiple sclerosis since my mid-thirties, but it is well-managed; I have been in remission for years. The concern about the melanoma and ensuing treatment was that it had the potential to cause my multiple sclerosis to relapse, which was far from ideal. I was beside myself. I didn’t know what to do, and my initial reaction was to not fight the cancer and just say, “Fuck it, I’m done.” After a couple of weeks of deep soul-searching and heartfelt conversations with friends, I decided to pursue treatment and let the chips fall where they may.
During the time that I spent resting and recovering, I started studying esoteric concepts, such as where we go when we die, the purpose of life, forgiveness, self-love, parent-child dynamics, etc. I started examining my life and recognized that I needed to start at the very beginning: childhood and my relationship with my parents. I wanted to understand how my childhood impacted my adult decision-making, why my adult life had spun so out of control and was not at all what I had envisioned for myself when I was a little girl, and what I was supposed to be doing with my life.
And following is what I learned from scholars, intuitive empaths, healers, and philosophers.
· The universe is constantly giving us signals about whether we're on the right path or not. But as humans, we tend to have what I call “ostrich syndrome” where we bury our heads in the sand with our asses up in the air, and we check out and ignore the signs.
· When the universe wants us to change, and all change is ultimately for our highest good, it will tap us on the shoulder to get our attention. If we ignore the shoulder tap, the universe will give us a gentle shove, and if we ignore the shove, the universe will take its steel toed boot and kick us in the ass to the point where we fall down face-first on the concrete, break our nose, chip our teeth, and scrape up our face.
· It’s those situations that are the most devastating that are meant to cause the greatest change in us. When life is sailing smoothly along, we aren’t motivated to change because we don’t have to.
· We are not meant to fear change because regardless of how scary it is, the outcome leads us somewhere better than where we currently are.
· It is always darkest before the dawn, but if we embrace change with ease and grace instead of white knuckling through it, or resisting it, we will prevail.
· Meditating and journaling are two of the most effective ways to make sense of change, receive answers from our intuition and highest selves, and benefit from the change. Additionally, meditation and journaling are scientifically proven to reduce pain and other physical symptoms, depression and anxiety, and a host of other issues.
The universe wants you to have everything that you want, and it is already queued-up for you and waiting on you to claim it. If you are not living the life that you want, it’s because you're being resistant to it and you don’t believe that you deserve it. If you can let go of that resistance and negative self-talk, then abundance will start flowing in, and you will be off on a very beautiful journey. This is my sincerest hope for you.